Parents Ask: Should I allow my child to watch 13 Reasons Why?

"13 Reasons Why"     Is it Middle School appropriate??

I have had a number of parents ask me if the Netflix show, “13 Reasons Why” is appropriate viewing for a middle school student.  Having watched the first season last year, and the second season just recently, my answer is – not without adult accompaniment.  It’s really more appropriate for older high school students, however, the majority of the viewing audience is, interestingly, middle school age. While there are some good messages and very relevant topics addressed, the content is VERY explicit and graphic in nature that will be disturbing for younger viewers (heck, I was horribly disturbed myself).  The series depicts high school students engaging in sex, watching pornography, drug and alcohol misuse, rape, bullying, swearing, suicide, and horrifying violence.  My recommendation is to watch it yourself first.  Many parents react strongly to the content, and come away with a firm opinion about whether they feel their child can get past the disturbing content to get to the message.  

Like I said, there are relevant topics portrayed that we deal with in middle school – bullying, cyberbullying, mental health issues, self-harm, suicidal ideation, academic pressures, family dysfunction, substance misuse in the home, struggles with gender and sexual identity, and homelessness.  Having an opportunity to engage in open, honest discussion with your child about such issues is certainly valuable, and parents have identified this as a benefit of watching it with their child.  But the only one who can determine if it is appropriate is you, and I would again strongly recommend to watch it yourself first, even if your child insists, “Everyone is watching it!!”

If you decide to watch it with your child, there are some conversation starters that can be found in the “13 Reasons Why” discussion guide at 13reasonswhy.info  Here are a few to get you started:

• ·       What do you think about what happened in this episode?
• ·       Do you think the characters in the show are behaving in ways that are similar to people you know? How so? How are they different?
• ·       Did parts of the story make you think about how people who are struggling do not show the full picture of what they are dealing with to others?
• ·       What did you learn about “so-and-so character’s” situation from this episode? For example, what did you learn about what happened to Jessica and sexual assault?”
• ·       How does what you have seen change how you view some things that happen in real life?
• ·       Do you think the adults did anything wrong? What could they have done better?

Please keep in mind students’ personal struggles often come to light when triggered by a tragic event, uncomfortable experience, or viewing/hearing a form of media (tv show, film, music, etc.) that touches on sensitive topics.  It’s important for peers, families, and school staff to be on the lookout for warning signs that a student needs support:

• ·       Changes in school performance (e.g. grades, attendance)
• ·       Changes in mood
• ·       Increased disciplinary problems
• ·       Complaints of illness
• ·       Problems experienced at home or family situations (stress, trauma, divorce, substance misuse, poverty, domestic violence)
• ·       Communication from teachers about problems at school
• ·       Withdrawal
• ·       Difficulty dealing with existing mental health concerns

I am including a list of websites for further reference.  We at KRMS are here to assist you and your student. Please feel free to contact us with further questions or concerns! 927-2100

Netflix "13 Reasons Why" Resources

13reasonswhy.info

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

afsp.org

The National Center for Victims of Crime

victimsofcrime.org

Coalition to Support Grieving Students

grievingstudents.org

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

www.nsvrc.org

Flipping a Parent Teacher Conference: What do you think?

For my final tech blog post prior to the summer vacation, I was considering a variety of potential topics.  Should I talk about summer reading?  Should I talk about summer movies?  Should I talk about Global Service Projects for Youth?

Each of these topics was of some interest to me, and then I stumbled upon this article on How to Flip a Parent Teacher Conference.  The author of the article has a pretty amazing idea.

When a school year starts, parents often attend an open house.  This is really a "meet and greet" opportunity. It isn't meant to be an individual parent-teacher exchange.  The teacher doesn't really know the students yet as the open house usually happens very early in the first month of school.

Finally though, along comes the parent-teacher conference time.  Of course, many parent-teacher conferences go smoothly, but this can be a stressful encounter for some.  Some parents might wonder/worry what the teacher is going to say about their child.  Students might wonder/worry what their teacher is going to say about them, and teachers might wonder /worry what parents will ask in regards to their child.  It's a very valuable process, but is it as efficient as it can be?  Could technology make a difference and enhance the long-held tradition of face to face parent-teacher conferences?

If you didn't read the article Flipped Parent-Teacher Conferences from the link above, please read the article here.  Then use this Google Form to offer some suggestions on what questions you might want to see on a form if KRMS decided to try this.

The idea is for you to offer up questions that you, as a parent, might have that don't get answered at a conference because there isn't enough time or you forget to ask.  Teachers could be more prepared with specifics and more meaningful input if they knew exactly what a specific parent was concerned about prior to the actual meeting.  Do you agree?

Use the comment feature of this blog to offer your thoughts on whether you would welcome this type of approach to Parent-Teacher Conferences.  Also, feel free to make any comments you have on Parent-Teacher Conferences in general and/or how technology might make this experience more meaningful to you.


Photo Credit:

URH

URH. "Clipart - School Works." Openclipart.org. N. p., 2018. Web. 3 June 2018.